You’ve Got A Friend In Me
Makenzie and me! <3
No greater set of relationships has impacted my life more than my friendships.
Continually, the ability to choose friends of strong moral character, similar interests, and being people that I genuinely enjoy being around, has helped nurture long-lasting, healthy, and spiritually rewarding friendships.
I think of the Stephen King quote from his novella, “The Body,” probably better known to you as the classic 80s film, Stand By Me.
I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, did you?
And songs such as Ben Rector’s, “Old Friends,” off the album, Magic, bring nostalgic memories and subsequent smiles to mind.
Additionally, the song, “Simple As This,” by Jake Bugg brings back a very specific memory of a twilight ice cream run at the end of August a few years ago with one of my most beloved friends.
Now that I write it, I realize that I seem to remember most of my life through songs.
Even a childhood staple, such as Randy Newman’s, “You’ve Got A Friend In Me,” forces a pictureshow of memories to reel through my mind of moments practicing the word “togetherness.”
Never one for overtly large friend groups, I stuck to more of a pyramid scheme.
I had those two to three friends I confided in, a few friends I hung out with on a regular basis and enjoyed their company tremendously but never delved much deeper than that, and a large group of acquaintances and colleagues.
Yet, through it all, there was a group of friends that hung around; to name a few, my cherished and beloved friends, Makenzie, Annie, and Megane.
This past week, I had the pleasure of going to coffee with my good friend, Makenzie, on Monday.
Still in school, she asked if I wanted to go to a local coffee shop with her to study/work.
I didn’t have any work to do.
I just wanted to go.
I just wanted to be there.
To hang around.
To linger.
I literally didn’t bring anything.
Meanwhile, she unzipped a fifty-pound gray backpack brimming with laptops, chargers, notebooks, pencil cases, Bible studies, and devotionals.
I ended up doodling in her notebook that she wasn’t using.
I sat there with her for almost two hours in complete silence. A few words or stories were shared few and far between, but other than that I decorated her ruled notebook with little flowers and waves and watched the coffee shop’s TV that was tuned to a fish tank at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, watching live footage of sea turtles, sand sharks and some of the ugliest fish I had ever seen, swim round and round in a blue abyss.
Other than Makenzie, I have friends who I get together with for TV shows; we switch back and forth between picking our favorite shows, getting together about once a week for coffee, and then watching, on average, three to four episodes that night. (Annie and I are currently watching Gilmore Girls, Season Two, but going into my thoughts on that would require another blog completely, haha!).
And then there are friends more like sisters, such as Megane.
Friends who are just, simply, in your life because that’s the way it’s always been and always will be.
But how does one get to that point? To the point of comfortability that doesn’t require 24/7 communication, that doesn’t require big and extravagant plans or expensive shopping sprees and day trips?
I mean, Makenzie and I sat there for two hours sharing an almond croissant and sipping from the teeny-tiny water cups they had out for free, drafting practice plans and doodling lilies on paper.
So how does one get to that point?
Choose your friends wisely.
Like Indiana Jones when he met the knight of the Crusades, choosing poorly can cost you … a lot. Hopefully not your life, but a lot.
“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character” – 1 Corinthians 15:33
I remember meeting Makenzie, Annie, and Megane for the first time, as well as some other cherished friends. I remember feeling that invisible thread, that red string of fate tying me to them and them to me, and I was pulling at it like a loose string on a sweater.
Like a moth drawn to a flame, I just knew that there was something about them that was worth the danger of being rejected by them.
“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray” – Proverbs 12:26
Is everyone going to have that red-string-of-fate moment? Probably not. But I think, instinctually, we know who is best for us from the get-go.
Remember that relationships are built over time.
None of the relationships listed above are new.
In fact, all of them span ten years, give or take a few.
Did we start in the middle of our relationship?
Absolutely not!
We started at the starting line, like all relationships do.
I had to get to know her, and she, me.
I remember going to Annie’s 16th birthday party; being so, so nervous, but so honored, because we had just started hanging out outside of volleyball practice and I wanted to have fun and be a part of her life, but I wasn’t sure where I fit into that.
Needless to say, I don’t think I had anything to worry about, haha!
But every day, every week, we chipped a little bit away at the stone, together. Slowly, but surely, unveiling the beloved, trusting, cherished friendship we have today.
Learn to rely on one another.
The longer these women were in my life, the more I began to trust them with the uglier parts of my personality, as well as the mistakes I had made.
“If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” – Ecclesiastes 4:10
Some of my greatest moments of comfort have come not from my parents, my brother, or my relatives, but these women who I had hand-selected, poured so much love, effort, and time into, and who returned the kindness, extending hands when I needed them the most.
Going with being dependable …
You have to learn to trust each other.
I would advise anyone that whom you tell specific information to is incredibly important.
Not everyone in life is meant to know your deepest, darkest secrets. And even then, if you do decide to share, you should choose said people wisely.
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” – Proverbs 18:24
Lastly,
Show each other love, show them that you care!
It’s all about the little things!
Read their favorite book, listen to the song they sent you, fangirl over their celebrity crush with them, hype them up, compliment them, show up with a cup of coffee that they weren’t expecting, be the first to RSVP for their birthday party, text them a “just thinking of you” text, pray for them, ask them how their day is going, laugh at their stupid puns, watch the Tiktoks they send you and reply to every single one, go out for that spontaneous milkshake run because why the heck not!
“A friend loves at all times” – Proverbs 17:17
It’s all about the little things.
Always.
It’s a million little things put together to form one big thing, this masterpiece of a friendship.
